My life seems to be turning in a better direction...

08:17 pm - The countdown is ON!

Stœuf

06:07 pm - Like we didn't already know this...

Interacting with women makes men stupid

I remember a time I was chatting with a woman I was very interested in. My heart was racing, I was sweating profusely, and the room was spinning uncontrollably. Suddenly a group of friends came over and asked me to introduce them to the girl I was talking to. With all eyes on me, I remember turning to look at my best friends in the entire world and realizing, much to my horror and embarrassment, that I couldn't remember any of their names!

I have discussed this phenomenon with my male and female friends (they report similar experiences). Why do I suddenly turn into a completely different person, unable to think clearly? And more importantly, why does this only happen when I talk to females?

A hot off the press article in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology may finally shed some light on these questions.

Johan C. Karremans and colleagues at Radboud University of Nijmegen in The Netherlands tested the prediction that mixed-sex interactions temporarily cause a decline in cognitive functioning.

In two studies, they had participants interact with a stranger of either the same or opposite sex and complete a cognitive task both before and after the interaction.

In their first study, 40 male participants tended to perform worse on a cognitive task (requiring the constant updating of working memory) following the mixed-sex interaction compared to the same-sex interaction. Interestingly, this effect held independent of whether the participants were romantically involved or single. Also, this effect was even stronger when the male participant reported higher attraction to the opposite-sex person they were interacting with.

In their second study, the researchers had 53 male and 58 female college participants interact with each other, instead of using a confederate for the interactions (like they did in the first study). Men (but not women), likewise, displayed a decline in performance on a different, very cognitively demanding task, requiring both task-switching and inhibition. Also, just like the first study, this effect held independent of whether the participant was currently in a relationship. Additionally, Men (but not women) reported higher levels of impression management in mixed-sex interactions relative to same-sex interactions.

12:06 pm - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

MY FAVORITE AUTHOR OF ALL TIME IS DEAD!

(for uncultured swine)
P.S.  The Belgariad would make an epic movie series.
P.P.S.  So would the Malloreon.
P.P.P.S.  So would the Elenium and Tamuli.

Current Mood: sad

02:01 pm - Why do I find this so funny?

Doctor charged with molesting patient

A 61-year-old medical doctor was arrested on charges of battery Friday morning in his office after he allegedly groped and placed his mouth on a female patient’s chest, according to a Bradenton Police Department arrest report. Dr. Gangadhararao Chapalamadugu, known to his patients as C.G. Rao, specializes in internal medicine and pulmonary disease.

Rao allegedly began touching the woman when he began to examine her. He removed her breasts from her bra and reportedly began groping her, according to the report. He then told the woman to turn around and lean against the examination table. He allegedly pressed the front of his body against the woman’s back. He felt her breasts and squeezed her buttocks as “if they were play dough,” according to the report. He then moved around to the victim’s front and allegedly placed his mouth on her left breast, according to the report.

Breast

What a name.  I must find this funny cause of the cartoon I just saw:

12:55 pm - Fingerprints, bye-bye and disguises

Cancer patient held at airport for missing fingerprint

A Singapore cancer patient was held for four hours by immigration officials in the United States when they could not detect his fingerprints -- which had apparently disappeared because of a drug he was taking. The incident, highlighted in the Annals of Oncology, was reported by the patient's doctor, Tan Eng Huat, who advised cancer patients taking this drug to carry a doctor's letter when traveling to the United States. The drug, capecitabine, is commonly used to treat cancers in the head and neck, breast, stomach and colorectum. One side-effect is chronic inflammation of the palms or soles of the feet and the skin can peel, bleed and develop ulcers or blisters -- or what is known as hand-foot syndrome.

Fingerprint

Canadian TV rapped for Obama assassination joke

Canada's public broadcaster was wrong to show a skit that joked about the possible assassination of U.S. President Barack Obama and suggested he could be a thief, an industry panel ruled on Monday. The New Year's Eve "Bye Bye" comedy program -- shown by the French-language Radio Canada network -- generated more than 200 complaints. In one segment, two hosts discussed Obama's election in November 2008. Obama, who took office in January, is the first black U.S. president. "We're not racists. It will be good to have a Negro in the White House. It will be practical. Black on white, it will be easier to shoot him," one of the show's hosts remarked.

Bye Bye

First of all, ARE WE REALLY STILL GOING ON ABOUT THE STUPID BYE-BYE? WTF!  And you know, I watched it and it totally sucked EXCEPT that part.  The Obama skit was one of the funniest parts of the damn thing!  I loved it!  We might as well just ban comedy altogether - after all, it MIGHT offend someone!  Even 5 months after the fact!!!
/end rant.
P.S.  the over 200 complaints had nothing whatsoever to do with the Obama skit.

Cigarette bandit wore a beer carton as disguise

Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself as a beer carton. The man walked into a Kwik Shop convenience store before dawn Monday wearing an empty Bud Light box on his head as a mask, said Lincoln police Capt. Bob Kawamoto. The man also had wrapped something around one of his hands, suggesting he was armed, said Kawamoto. But the man never showed a weapon.

Carton

I wish there were pics.  Reminds me of the man who tried to rob a bank disguised as a tree.

10:35 am - Divorce, cycling, driving and a snack

Groom drinks too much at wedding, dies

A Taiwanese groom died on his wedding day after having too much wine and beer to drink, police and local media said Monday. The man, 35, an insurance company worker surnamed Wu passed out at home after drinking too much Saturday at a high-end restaurant in Taipei among more than 100 wedding guests, the Liberty Times reported.

Wine and beer

Well – that’s one way to avoid divorce.
 

What could possibly go wrong?

Close to 200 prisoners will cycle around France next month, watched by scores of guards on bicycles, in the first penal version of the Tour de France, authorities said Monday. The 196 prisoners will cycle in a pack and breakaway sprints will not be allowed. They will be accompanied by 124 guards and prison sports instructors. There will be no ranking, the idea being to foster values like teamwork and effort. "It's a kind of escape for us, a chance to break away from the daily reality of prison," said Daniel, a 48-year-old prisoner in the western city of Nantes, at the official launch of the event. His last name was not given.

Cycle

Yes…KIND OF like an escape…
 

Boy, 6, takes the wheel after dad passes out

Police say a 6-year-old boy grabbed the wheel of their pickup after his dad passed out from low blood sugar and kept them from crashing until a North Platte police officer could bring the truck to a halt. Tustin Mains was in the back seat with his 3-year-old brother when he noticed that his dad, Phillip Mains, slumped down on Sunday evening while they were driving home from a restaurant. Tustin hopped up from the back seat to his father's lap so he could steer and see out the windshield.

Pickup

That’s quite an impressive kid.

hokeysmoke , I am STILL waiting for those

12:13 pm - Awwww

British regiment bids goodbye to goat mascot

The Royal Welsh Regiment is saying farewell to a four-legged military buddy.  After seven years of U.K. Army service, Billy the goat, whose full name is William Windsor, retired amid pomp and ceremony on Wednesday.  The nine-year-old will enjoy his retirement at a zoo outside of London.

The battalion has had a goat in its ranks for more than 200 years. The tradition dates to the U.S. Revolutionary War when a wild goat wandered onto a battlefield and ended up leading the regimental colors at the end of a battle.  To this day, the regimental goat marches in front of the battalion in ceremonies.

12:47 pm - News stories are better in pairs

Man tried to hire prostitute for his son, 14

LONDON - A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son's virginity as a present was spared jail by a court on Friday.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham.

But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was handed a 10-month prison sentence, suspended for a year, after he admitted a charge of trying to solicit a woman to have sex with a child, the Press Association reported.

Judge Jonathan Teare said he would spare the father jail because of his excellent character and that he believed he did not mean any harm to his son.

Excellent character

Number of UK children with sex diseases soars

LONDON - The number of British children being diagnosed with sexually transmitted infections (STIs) has soared in recent years, according to government figures.

The increase in those under 16 diagnosed with a sexual disease was 58 percent -- to 3,913 in 2007 from 2,474 in 2003.

The greatest increase was the number of cases of Chlamydia, the world's most common STI, with a 90 percent rise in diagnoses, but there was also a rise in the number of cases of genital herpes and genital warts.

Gee I wonder why

04:22 pm - LOL

Saudi Arabia clamps down on unlicensed female gyms

"Let her get fat!" is the slogan women in Saudi Arabia are using to challenge a clampdown on female-only gyms.  Unhappy at the growing number of unlicensed female gyms, the Ministry of Municipal and Rural Affairs recently closed two in the Red Sea city of Jeddah and one in the city of Dammam on the Gulf Arab coast for not having a license.  In response, newspaper columnists and bloggers are promoting the sarcastic line "let her get fat!" as a way of fighting back, though it is likely to be a losing battle.

"Football and basketball are sports that require a lot of movement and jumping," Sheikh Abdullah al-Maneea, member of the official Supreme Council of Religious Scholars, said in a religious opinion published in Okaz newspaper Thursday.  He said such excessive movement may harm girls who are still virgins, possibly causing them to lose their virginity.

Virginity

If you lose your virginity playing basketball - YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
 

12:28 pm - Urine, Hg and moronic teachers.

Urine Spray Man gets Nine Years

A Chemist who contaminated food and wine in Gloucestershire supermarkets with his own urine and faeces has been sent to prison for nine years.  Sahnoun Daifallah, 42, of Bibury Road, Gloucester, was found guilty of four counts of contaminating goods at four businesses in May 2008.  The court heard shoppers and staff in both stores saw Daifallah with a black laptop computer with a vapour coming from the bag being sprayed on the shelves.  The cost of damaged products and lost business due to resulting store closures was estimated at £700,000.  When police searched his house they found stockpiles of the mixture and plans to spread it in other cities including Bristol and Birmingham.  Daifallah, who had fantasies about biological weapons to cause public alarm, was also found guilty of having an offensive weapon, namely a catapult with marbles.

Mixture

TASTY.


Sewing machine frenzy in red mercury hoax

Saudi police are investigating the origins of a hoax that had hundreds of people believing that old sewing machines may bring fortune because they contained an elusive, and probably mythical, substance known as red mercury.  The English-language Saudi Gazette newspaper said some buyers were willing to pay up to 200,000 riyals ($50,000) for an old Singer sewing machine proven to contain red mercury.  Mobile phones are supposedly employed as instruments to prove the existence of the phony substance. Popular belief in the Middle East has it that it can help uncover hidden gold treasures, though there are other theories which say it can be used to create a nuclear bomb.  "If the line cuts off when the telephone is placed close to the needle ... that proves the existence of the substance," Saudi Gazette said.

Hg

LOL!  Maybe it's cause I'm a Chemist, but this is hilarious to me.


Police say photo-swapping teacher, student did not see each other outside school

Azalea Middle School teacher Christy Lynn Martin and an eighth-grade boy called each other "husband" and "wife," kissed each other and apparently sent each other cell phone photos of their private parts, according to police.  But they did not have sex and did not see each other outside of school, according to information contained in a search warrant.  Martin, 32, was arrested last month on charges of transmitting pornographic images through an electronic device and transmitting material harmful to a minor.

Photo

I will never understand humans.  And I sure am glad.

05:13 pm - Porn, farts, gun shot and tofu

Naples man who called for medical help gets 25 years for porn

When Douglas Guy Deering called 911 for a medical problem, he forgot to turn off his computer. So when emergency personnel arrived at his Naples home on Aug. 10, 2006, they found him sitting next to a slideshow of young boys performing sex acts.  Realizing this, Deering asked one technician to turn off his computer.  It was too late. Later, as he was in a hospital bed, his computer and discs were seized, the FBI was contacted to analyze encrypted files and Deering ended up being charged last year with 197 counts of possessing child pornography.

Computer
 

I wonder if his medical problem had to do with Viagra.

Man causing real stink in motel room gets stabbed

A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said. Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.  The 35-year-old man was transported to a Waco hospital, where he was treated for what appeared to be non-life threatening injuries, Anderson said.  Jose Braule Ramirez, 33, of Houston, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, police said. He was arraigned Wednesday and was being held in the McLennan County Jail on $15,000 bond and placed on an immigration hold, according to jail records. He cannot be released, even if he posts bond, until authorities verify he is in the country legally.
 

Stab
 

Hey, I have a sensitive sense of smell, too but I don’t go around stabbing all the farters (although I might want to).

Accidental gun shot wound in drive-thru

A trip through the drive-thru ends with a trip to the hospital for a young man who accidentally shot himself in the leg Tuesday. Rapid City Police and emergency medical personnel responded to the incident at the west-side Taco John's shortly after one o'clock this afternoon. Sgt. Wayne Asscherick says the 24-year-old man had a pistol in his car, tried to clear the weapon and accidentally shot himself in the calf while he was in the drive-thru. No permit is needed as long as the weapon is not concealed  so Asscherick says the man was not breaking any laws, but he did have to go to the hospital. Asscherick reminds people to always treat weapons as though they're loaded ... he says messing around with them in a vehicle is never a good idea.
 

Gun
 

Seriously, the guy’s name is Asscherick?

Woman's tofu license plate curdles in Colo.

One Colorado woman's love for tofu has been judged X-rated by state officials. Kelly Coffman-Lee wanted to tell the world about her fondness for bean curd by picking certain letters for her SUV's license plate. Her suggestion for the plate: "ILVTOFU." But the Division of Motor Vehicles blocked her plan because they thought the combination of letters could be interpreted as profane.  Says Department of Revenue spokesman Mark Couch: "We don't allow 'FU' because some people could read that as street language for sex."  Officials meet periodically to ensure state plates stay free of letters that abbreviate gang slang, drug terms or obscene phrases.
 

Tofu

HAHAHAHA!!!!

08:32 am - Sex act, shrimp, gasoline, accidents and hospital

Helicopter pilot taped in sex act denied license

A judge says a commercial helicopter pilot videotaped in a sex act while flying over San Diego committed gross negligence and cannot have his license back.  National Transportation Safety Board administrative law Judge William R. Mullins upheld a Federal Aviation Administration order revoking the license of David Martz after a hearing Tuesday.  Martz had no comment after the ruling.  A passenger was videotaping when Martz let an adult film actress perform a sex act on him during the 2005 flight, and an edited version eventually became public.

Sex act

You know you're a moron when...


Diner Dials 911 over Shrimp Order

A woman dialed 911 on Monday afternoon to report that she didn’t get extra shrimp in her fried rice order.  The incident happened at A&D Buffalo's in the 4000 block of East Belknap Street.  Restaurant' employees said the woman originally left with her order, but came back claiming she did not get her full $1.62 worth of extra shrimp. Since she had already left the building with her food, they refused to give her a refund.  "She started yelling and screaming, brought her boyfriend in and they started making a scene in here," said Alex Kim, the restaurant's attorney.  Employees said that's when the irate woman called 911 to try to get help from the police.

Shrimp

Gawd ppl are dumb.


You shouldn't clean with gasoline while smoking

A 47-year-old Appleton man charged with arson for starting a fire in his apartment that forced 11 neighbors from their homes told police he was just cleaning his apartment.  With gasoline. While smoking.  Ernest D. Krajniak said the fire started when he tossed his lit cigarette into a pile of gas-soaked clothes and cushions at the building on Appleton's southeast side.  Instead of pulling the building's fire alarm, he yelled "fire" a couple times before walking to the Menasha Police Department to ask for an ambulance to take him to be treated for burns to his face, arms and back.  "Krajniak stated that he wasn't thinking," according to a criminal complaint filed Monday by Calumet County District Attorney Ken Kratz.

Fire

...is there anyone out there NOT a blithering idiot?


Motorist survives three accidents in an hour

A German woman was involved in three car accidents in less than an hour that left a total of seven vehicles damaged but she suffered only slight injuries from the series of mishaps, police said Tuesday.  The 69-year-old woman from Berlin first crashed into three cars while trying to pull out of a supermarket car park on the Baltic resort island of Usedom.  Then, she accidentally stepped on the accelerator and sped across a lawn before crashing into a nearby house, police said. She was taken to hospital in an ambulance but that vehicle was then hit by a truck.

Accident

And I think I have bad luck.


Woman rushed to hospital then sits for 12 hours

A Tampa family is telling a tale of horror about a loved one who was rushed to the hospital but, they say, the hospital was in no rush to treat her.  Deborah Dennard was taken to University Community Hospital late Friday night by ambulance. However, when family members tried to contact her, the hospital had no idea where the woman was.  Teryal Dennard, who is the woman's sister, says she was not listed as a patient in the emergency room and no one seemed to know where she was. Dennard says her sister could have died.  When the family kept calling University Community Hospital, and was frustrated because no one could find Deborah, her nephew, Corey Bradford, went to UCH and found her 12 hours after she had been admitted, asleep in a chair and disoriented.  Once doctors started treating Dennard, they did an MRI and discovered the woman had an aneurism. A stent was placed in her brain to relieve the pressure.

Hospital

Nice.

08:30 am - Pineapple, skeleton and quake

Pop star dressed as pineapple robbed

Police say a Japanese pop star dressed up as a pineapple has been robbed while shooting a music video in southern Sweden.  Police spokesman Bo Paulsson says three young men beat up 41-year-old Hideki Kaji and robbed him of camera equipment worth around 20,000 kronor ($2,500) late Saturday.  Paulsson says the pineapple-clad artist had been left alone with the equipment while the camera crew went for a break. He was left with a cut lip and lost a dental implant.

Pineapple

Why does this make me lol?


Skeleton found in tree 29 years after suicide

The skeleton of a German retiree who tied himself to the top of a tree and shot himself to death nearly 30 years ago has been found by a hiker.  German police in the southern town of Landshut said on Monday the 69-year-old man disappeared in 1980 and had been classified as missing.  An 18-year-old hiker discovered a bone in the forest last week and brought it to police. They searched the area and spotted the skeleton hanging about 11 meters up, near the top of the spruce tree.  "After searching the area we found the skeleton up in the tree with the pistol hanging on a rope next to it," police spokesman Leonard Mayer said. Police were able to identify the man through DNA testing and an artificial hip.

Skeleton

I guess he was right that no one would notice or care if he killed himself.  I guess I should start looking for some likely trees.


Italy muzzled scientist who predicted quake

An Italian scientist predicted a major earthquake around L'Aquila weeks before disaster struck the city on Monday, killing more than 100 people, but was reported to authorities for spreading panic.  The government on Monday insisted the warning, by seismologist Gioacchino Giuliani, had no scientific foundation but Giuliani said he had been vindicated and wanted an apology.  The first tremors in the region were felt in mid-January and continued at regular intervals, creating mounting alarm in the medieval city, about 100 km (60 miles) east of Rome.  Vans with loudspeakers drove around the town a month ago telling locals to evacuate their houses after Giuliani, from the National Institute of Astrophysics, predicted a large quake was on the way, prompting the mayor's anger.

Quake

Hmmm

09:49 am - Toothpaste, rubber bands and smoking

Thief nabbed with 68 tubes of toothpaste

Police in northern Germany are searching for a man who tried to walk out of a supermarket with 68 tubes of toothpaste stuffed into his clothing.  "We don't know if he had bad teeth," a police spokeswoman in Rostock said Friday.  Noticing his bulging jacket, a store worker grabbed the man when he refused to stop and the tubes of toothpaste spilled all over the floor, police said.  The thief struck the woman in the face and ran out.

Toothpaste

Well, at least his teeth are clean.


UK postmen could be fined over dropped rubber bands

British postmen should face on-the-spot fines for throwing away the red rubber bands they use to bundle letters, a litter watchdog said on Monday.  Keep Britain Tidy said Royal Mail staff are not above the law and should be subject to the same 80 pound ($119) spot fine for littering as other members of the public.  "Elastic bands may not be as visually offensive as dog dirt or half-eaten pizza, but they are most definitely litter," said the charity's Dickie Felton.  "Is it really too much to ask them to put the rubber bands in their pocket as they do their daily rounds?"

Bands

Well call me crazy, but I have NEVER equated a rubber band with dog poop.  At least rubber bands are small, don't stick to your shoes, and don't stink.


Nicotine replacement could help more smokers quit

Nicotine replacement therapy can help smokers quit even when they do not think they are ready, researchers reported on Friday.  Smokers who do not yet want to quit but are prepared to reduce their smoking are twice as likely to stop in the long term if they use nicotine replacements to help them cut down gradually, the University of Birmingham team reported.  "Until now experts have advised people not to reduce their smoking but to quit abruptly," Paul Aveyard, one of the researchers, said in a telephone interview. "The worry has been that advising reduction will somehow deter people from the better alternative, which is stopping right now," he added.  "This treatment program is a way of potentially encouraging a lot more smokers into actually using nicotine replacement, which in the long term will help more of them stop smoking than if they hadn't done so."

Smokers

For all my friends who smoke: YOU CAN BEAT THIS.

07:48 am - Bacon, baptism, pets, attention and cars

Man brings home the bacon

A Taiwanese farmer has adopted 12 wild pigs as pets, training them to trot behind his motor scooter for miles and also to stop at traffic lights.  The pigs, all less than a year old, fall into line whenever Lee Tung-cheng lets them out of his rural Pingtung county yard and starts up his scooter. They go out together almost every day and know the rules of the road, he told Reuters on Wednesday.  Lee found the piglets about four months ago and plans to keep them rather than slaughter them.  "They're very smart and very well behaved," said Lee, 66. "The older they get, the better behaved they will be."  A photo in Taiwan's Liberty Times newspaper showed the black and brown piglets packed together trotting down a residential street as another scooter rider stops to look on.

Bacon

I wish I could find a pic.


Lemon cola becomes holy water in baptism

A Norwegian church used lemon-flavored cola instead of water in a baptism ceremony after its taps were temporarily turned off because of freezing temperatures, daily Vaart Land said Tuesday.  Priest Paal Dale from the town of Stord, about 150 miles west of the capital Oslo, improvised during a recent cold-spell by dabbing the lemon fizzy water on a baby during a baptism ceremony, it said.  "It had gone flat," Dale was quoted as saying by the newspaper. "Only the lemon smell made this unusual."  Dale said the child's family were informed about the switch only after the ceremony because the priest "had a need to inform" them about the lingering lemon scent.

Lemon

COKE BAPTISMS FOR FAT ADMIRERS COMING SOON!


Cats, dogs are tripping hazards

Roughly 240 Americans wind up in emergency rooms every day for sprains, fractures or other injuries from a fall caused by a dog or cat, U.S. researchers said on Thursday.  Researchers at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said dogs and cats account for 88 percent of all fall-related injuries in emergency departments.  Nearly 8 million people are treated in the emergency room each year for falls, and the CDC researchers wanted to know how many of them were caused by pets.  They searched five years of emergency room data on injuries from a national sample of hospitals in the United States. They looked for fall-related injuries using search terms like pet, dog, cat, puppy or kitten.  Overall, dogs or cats cause an estimated 86,600 falls per year, the CDC said in its weekly report on death and disease.

Hazard

I can believe this.


Man killed lover over dog

A local man killed his lover during an argument about a pit bull named Roscoe, Springfield Police officials said Tuesday.  Larry Larinza Broxton, 55, is accused of smothering Robert Odies Harris, 35, with a pillow sometime before Midnight Saturday, officials said.  Broxton then stayed overnight with Harris' body in the bedroom the two shared at 3305B E. 2nd Court until the couple's roommate and a neighbor busted open the door, according to an arrest affidavit filed by Sgt. Thomas McCroan.  Broxton was lying on top of the body on the couple's bed when he was discovered, officials said.  The dog belonged to William Broxton, Larry Broxton's brother until February when William Broxton died of a drug overdose, Thorne added.  In the affidavit, McCroan wrote that Larry Broxton confessed that he was upset with Harris because Harris had been showing the dog more attention than Broxton.

Attention

And ppl wonder why I would rather live alone.


Help! I'm locked inside my car

A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.  A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.  "My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said.  "Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."    The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.  The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."

Locked

...HOW IN THE WORLD CAN ANYONE BE THIS STUPID AND STILL ALIVE?!!

12:24 pm - Stool, shot and insomnia

Man charged with drunk driving on bar stool

Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.  Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.  Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries.  Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers.  Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Stool (has pic and video of it)

...



Wife tells husband: 'I did not shoot you, sweetheart'

When a Winter Springs woman reported early Sunday that an intruder had shot her husband, Seminole County Sheriff's investigators didn't buy it and neither did the victim.  While 42-year-old Kimberly Boone was talking to 911 dispatchers, her husband, Robert Boone, 41, can be heard talking in the background. According to an arrest affidavit, the man told a deputy sheriff his wife accidentally shot him.  "No, I did not shoot you sweetheart. I was in with the boys," she told her husband.  Earlier in the call, the woman said her husband was shot while checking out a noise in their garage.  Officials said she later admitted to shooting her husband and was arrested to face a charge of attempted murder. She is being held without bail in the Seminole County Jail in Sanford.

Shot

Ah sweet love.


Insomnia may alter "hunger hormone"

Studies have linked poor sleep to obesity and other health problems, and now new research suggests a reason why.  The study, of 38 men with and without chronic insomnia, found that those with the sleep disorder had 30 percent lower nighttime levels of the hormone ghrelin, which is involved in appetite control.  A number of studies in recent years have highlighted the role of sleep in overall health. Research has linked poor sleep -- owing to sleep disorders or shift work, for example -- to higher risks of obesity, diabetes and heart disease.  These latest findings, reported in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology, help shed light on why sleep deprivation might encourage weight gain and its related health consequences.

Hunger

Here's where I get to repeat that exercise cures insomnia.

08:04 am - Toilet chef, fire, pipe bombs, dolphins and heartache

Inmate heats sausage in toilet, sparks fire

An inmate's attempt to heat up sausages in his toilet went up in smoke when the cooking fire forced a unit evacuation at a Washington state prison.  Clallam Bay Corrections Center spokeswoman Denise Larson says 130 inmates were evacuated to a dining hall when smoke was spotted coming from a sewer vent pipe Wednesday evening.  She says the smoke was traced to the inmate's cell and he admitted to trying to heat up snack sausage bought from a prison store in the stainless steel toilet. The inmate's identity has not been released.  The toilet chef has been placed in segregation pending discipline at the prison on Washington's Olympic Peninsula.

Toilet chef

Mmmmmmmmm E. coli.


Man throws Molotov cocktail at neighbor's trailer, but winds shift, setting his own cars ablaze

Authorities said a man threw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbor's trailer, but the wind shifted and set fire to two cars, a pickup and a travel trailer in the man's own yard. The Florida Highway Patrol reported that a 51-year-old man got into a fight with his neighbor on Tuesday night and threw the makeshift gasoline bomb.  Authorities believe alcohol was involved.

Fire

LOL.


Captain made pipe bombs and threw them at dolphins

Federal Judge Richard Smoak on Wednesday sentenced Panama City charter boat Capt. Garry Alvin Key to two years in prison for having bombs in his boat.  Key, 50, pleaded guilty in January to possession of explosives by a convicted felon and taking or attempting to take marine mammals, specifically dolphins. Key, captain of the "WBS" fishing vessel, admitted then that he made pipe bombs and threw them at dolphins to scare them away from his lines.  Key's boat was stopped Aug. 16 as it was headed out to sea. Black powder, galvanized end caps and fuses were found onboard the boat.

Bombs

Goddamn I hate ppl.


Lingerie firm offers women "liberating" loincloths

Whether you're a g-string girl or prefer granny-style knickers, a Japanese lingerie maker is inviting women to liberate themselves from conventional, body-hugging underwear and don loincloths instead.  Loincloths, called "fundoshi" in Japanese, were worn by adult men in the past, but they are now a rarity.  Kyoto-based lingerie firm Wacoal, however, has brought them back into fashion, this time for women seeking "emancipation" from the tightness of conventional underwear.  "We wanted young women to have a more sense of freedom and release. And as we tried to come up with the ultimate liberation item for women, we thought of a fundoshi," said Tomoka Okamura, merchandise director for Wacoal's Nanafun female loincloths.

Loincloths

Ah, no thanks.
 

07:21 am - Checks, NM, wild goats, growing wangs, plants and fat tax

Man accused of freezing mom, cashing checks

A New York state man has been accused of stashing his 98-year-old mother's dead body in a freezer in their home so he could keep cashing her Social Security checks.  State police say they discovered Herta Auslander's body in a freezer chest in October after receiving a tip she had died more than a year earlier. An autopsy concluded she died of natural causes.  Police say 69-year-old Roland Auslander eluded capture for months but was arrested Wednesday following a stakeout at his home in the hamlet of Cooks Falls, about 100 miles northwest of New York City. They say he's charged with grand larceny, unlawful disposal of human remains and forgery for faking his mother's signature.

Remains

People are so lovely.


NM adopts 1st state cowboy tune

Cowpokes now have a good reason to gather 'round the campfire and break out the guitar — New Mexico's got an official state cowboy song.  Gov. Bill Richardson signed legislation Wednesday declaring New Mexico the first state to adopt an official cowboy song: "Under the New Mexico Skies" by Syd Masters, a 42-year-old musician from Edgewood.  New Mexico songwriters picked Masters' tune in 2008 from 26 other songs, and he performed it on the state House floor this month. The true-to-tradition tune, with a rolling melody and catchy lyrics, features guitar and acoustic bass with a twangy male voice that breaks into three-part harmony for the chorus.  "The song tells about New Mexico, like the beautiful landscape, wildlife, the flowers and the beautiful mountains of New Mexico — the things that we are proudest of. And cowboys and ranchers are also the things we are proudest of," said state Rep. Gloria Vaughn, a Republican from Alamogordo who proposed the idea of an homage to cowhands. "Because we have so many ranchers and cattle people, this is important for New Mexico."

Song

...it's ok.  Sigh, I do miss living there.


Carmel women led on a wild goat chase

Hessy Derman once made her boyfriend collect an injured chipmunk from the road, which she placed in a tissue box to convalesce.  So, it's understandable that he called her Tuesday morning after seeing two goats on Interstate 684.  "He said, 'Would you like me to catch them and bring them home,' " Derman, who owns a horse farm in Carmel, recalled yesterday.  She turned down the offer, instead calling various police departments to see what was being done about the livestock wandering on the highway. But after several calls, she and a friend hopped into her Subaru wagon and headed to Bedford.  "We decided to get some food and try to catch them," Derman said. The pair grabbed some horse feed to tantalize the goats.

They joined the pursuit on the interstate's northbound side, near the Armonk exit. The goats, by this time, had led a state trooper and concerned motorists on a southbound ramble from near the Mount Kisco exit. Some passing county police officers had also joined the herd of do-gooders. The pygmy goats were in the median and en route to the northbound side when Derman arrived.  Alas, Derman had only horse food from her Chessfield Farm to entice the goats. She and her friend, Grace Seholm, chased them for an hour, "into the woods, through pricker bushes, across a golf course, back into the woods," Derman said. Finally, everybody ended up on the deck of an Embassy Court home in North Castle.  "We put them in the back of my Subaru. They lay down, and they've been with us ever since," Derman said.

Goats

Awwwwwww.


Balls and Bottoms give way to Wangs in name game

The number of people in Britain with surnames like Cockshott, Balls, Death and Shufflebottom -- likely the source of schoolroom laughter -- has declined by up to 75 percent in the last century.  A study found the number of people with the name Cock shrank to 785 last year from 3,211 in 1881, those called Balls fell to 1,299 from 2,904 and the number of Deaths were reduced to 605 from 1,133.  People named Smellie decreased by 70 percent, Dafts by 51 percent, Gotobeds by 42 percent, Shufflebottoms by 40 percent, and Cockshotts by 34 percent, said Richard Webber, visiting professor of geography at King's College, London.Webber also found that between 1996 and 2008, the names Zhang, Wang, and Yang and experienced the fastest growth. Zhang rose by 4719 percent, while Wang grew by 2225 percent.

Cockshott

Oh man I would be so happy to have the last name Death.  That would be AWESOME.  Also...who is PAID to study these things? !  And HAHAHA @ Wang grew.


Thirsty plants can Twitter for water with new device

Chances are you've never had a conversation with your house plants but if they could talk, what would they say? "Water me."  Researchers at New York University's interactive telecommunications program have come up with a device that allows plants to tell owners when they need water or if they've had too much via the social network blogging service Twitter.  "Obviously plants can't talk or Twitter directly, so we have to help them along with that," said Rob Faludi, co-creator of the device called Botanicalls.  The device is made of soil-moisture sensors that are connected to a circuit board. They measure the level of moisture, and then communicate the information to a microcontroller.

Plants

AJKSHAGDJGH WTF.  Soon we won't need to think at all anymore!  We'll just wait to be Twittered into doing whatever we should be doing!  Yay!


Scottish doctor urges "fat tax" on chocolate

doctors came within a whisker of passing a motion calling for a "fat tax" on chocolate last week, and the doctor behind the move said chocolate was a root cause of increasing obesity.  "Certainly the U.S. and the UK are affected by rising levels of obesity," David Walker, a family doctor in Airdrie, western Scotland, who proposed the motion, said.  "If the British government is serious, they should tax chocolate in the same way as they tax alcohol," he said in a telephone interview.  Walker said on Wednesday that Britain had witnessed almost a doubling of cases of type 2 diabetes, which is linked to obesity, in the past 15 years.  In Scotland, nearly one in four people are obese, he added.

Fat

/end dream of going to Scotland and drooling over sexy men in kilts.  And for the record, I am completely for a tax being applied on junk food of every kind.

07:18 am - Implants and handcuffs

Woman sought in theft for breast implants, surgery

Authorities are searching for a 30-year-old woman accused of stealing another woman's identity so she could get new breast implants and liposuction. A $20,000 warrant has been issued for her arrest.  Officials say the enhancement scam began in September 2008, when Huntington Beach police say Yvonne Pampellonne used a stolen identity to open a line of credit. According to detectives, Pampellonne then used the credit to get breast implants and other cosmetic surgery – $12,000 worth of services – from Pacific Center for Plastic Surgery, a Huntington Beach center.

Implants

Well at least she'll look awesome in prison.


Woman arrested after shackling self to husband

An American woman handcuffed herself to her sleeping husband in an apparent attempt to resolve an argument, but police ended up breaking into their home and charging her with assault and other crimes, authorities said on Tuesday.  Helen Sun, 37, handcuffed herself to Robert Drawbough as he slept in their Fairfield, Connecticut, home on Monday in an effort to reconcile their differences, police said.  But when Drawbough called police with his cell phone, Sun responded by biting him on the arms and torso, police said.

Handcuffs

How not to resolve an argument.

07:20 am - Pizza vent, praying, red meat, shoe-cam and parrot

Burglary suspect rescued from pizza oven vent

The manager of a Blackjack Pizza outlet in Denver got a start when he discovered a man's legs hanging from a vent above the restaurant's oven.  Police said the dangling legs were accompanied by a voice yelling, "Help me, help me" Friday morning. Police spokesman Sonny Jackson said the 5-foot-10, 170-pound man told officers and firefighters he'd been stuck in the duct for five or six hours.  Jackson said the man was arrested on suspicion of burglary.  Jackson said the man could have been asphyxiated if the oven had turned on automatically or if the manager hadn't come in early.

Pizza

Too bad he doesn't qualify for a Darwin award - he seems perfect for it.


Italy convicts crash pilot who paused to pray

A Tunisian pilot who paused to pray instead of taking emergency measures before crash-landing his plane, killing 16 people, has been sentenced to 10 years in jail by an Italian court along with his co-pilot.  The 2005 crash at sea off Sicily left survivors swimming for their lives, some clinging to a piece of the fuselage that remained floating after the ATR turbo-prop aircraft splintered upon impact.  A fuel-gauge malfunction was partly to blame but prosecutors also said the pilot succumbed to panic, praying out loud instead of following emergency procedures and then opting to crash-land the plane instead trying to reach a nearby airport.  Another five employees of Tuninter, a subsidiary of Tunisair, were sentenced to between eight and nine years in jail by the court, in a verdict handed down on Monday.

Crash

It must have worked - he's alive.


Red meat raises risk of all kinds of death

People who eat the most red meat and the most processed meat have the highest overall risk of death from all causes, including heart disease and cancer, U.S. researchers reported on Monday.  The National Cancer Institute study is one of the largest to look at the highly controversial and emotive issue of whether eating meat is indeed bad for health.  Rashmi Sinha and colleagues looked at the records of more than 500,000 people aged 50 to 71 who filled out questionnaires on their diet and other health habits.  Even when other factors were accounted for -- eating fresh fruits and vegetables, smoking, exercise, obesity -- the heaviest meat-eaters were more likely to die over the next 10 years than the people who ate the least amount of meat.

Meat

...I need to eat more red meat.


Shoe-Cam Voyeur Faces More Charges

A man already serving a four-month sentence after using a camera hidden in his shoe to snap pictures of women trying on swimsuits at a surf shop is now facing additional charges.  According to the Neptune Beach police, Jeffery Polizzi went into Aqua East on Atlantic Boulevard earlier this month, stood next to the dressing room and put his shoe under the door.   "She noticed it, grabbed his arm and he took off running," said Assistant police Chief Tony Carrillo.   Carrillo said three women reported this happening to them. One said she was naked in the dressing room when she noticed a black shoe extended into the dressing room.  Once Carrillo was apprehended, police said they found a camera attached to the tongue of Polizzi's shoe.   "He cut about a 2-inch hole to put a camera in," Carrillo said. "It is unusual. It's the only one that I know of around."   Police said Polizzi confessed to concealing a small digital camera in his shoe with the lens pointed up through a hole he cut in attempt to photograph naked women.

Shoe

I never did like using dressing rooms in stores.


Parrot Honored For Saving Toddler's Life

Gov. Bill Ritter and Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper joined the Red Cross in honoring Colorado's heroes on Friday.  The Mile High's Chapter's "Breakfast of Champions" honors people who have saved lives using Red Cross skills.  The honorees came in all ages and ... species. The Animal Lifesaver Award went to Willie the parrot.  Red Cross spokesperson Jim Rettew says it's unusual to honor a bird but he says if you hear the story, it's a great one.  Willie and his owner Megan Howard were babysitting a toddler named Hannah.  Megan went into the bathroom and moments later heard Willie screaming, "Mama, Baby" over and over.  She ran out and saw that Hanna was turning blue. She was choking on her breakfast.  Megan is also a hero, since she performed the Heimlich maneuver and saved Hannah's life. But Megan is very humble.  "I still say that I did what I had to do and he (Willie) is the real hero," said Megan.

Parrot

And here I thought they were bird brains.